...News & Views...
News bites
Heady and Clever
James Lane III, 27, was arrested in Carrboro, N.C., in January after police chased him, in his car and later on foot. Officers tackled Lane about 20 feet in a wooded area and recovered a white plastic bag containing a pound of marijuana. When police pulled Lane to his feet, he said that someone must have left the bag on the ground at precisely the spot in the woods where he fell, because he had never seen it before.
“Dude, don’t worry, I lied to the cops. Everything is going
to be fine, dude. Dude, just chill. Nothing is screwed here, dude, nothing
is screwed. They didn’t know a thing, dude. We’re fine, dude.
Totally fine. Let’s go to Waffle House. Dude?”
Role Players Actually Ignore Puberty…
Neil Rodreick II, 29, shaved his body and posed as a 12-year-old boy, and then allegedly had sex with Lonnie Stiffler, 61, and Robert Snow, 43, in Chino Valley, Ariz., before all three were arrested in January (as the result of Stiffler’s attempt to enroll Rodreick in a charter school as a boy). The two men were said to have been quite upset when police told them Rodreick was not 12 years old.
I’d be upset, too, if some stupid charter school and the police ruined
the best game of delusional role playing in my life. Apparently, Stiffler
and Snow were not fazed when their “12-year-old” Roderick would
file taxes every year and drive to and from their house. He also had a keen
recollection of the Reagan years, the collapse of the Berlin Wall, the songs
(even B sides) of Wham! and knew how to make a mean quiche—all normal
activities of today’s 12-year-old youth.
Yet Another Reason Never To Ride a Bus…
A woman who boarded the wrong bus on an attempted shopping trip from Thailand to Malaysia has returned home after 25 years. Jaeyana Beuraheng told her eight children she accidentally boarded a bus bound for Bangkok instead of Malaysia, and once there she boarded a second incorrect bus because she could not read or speak Thai or English, The Times of London reported Wednesday, February 7. Beuraheng, who speaks only the Yawi dialect used by Muslims in southern Thailand, said the noise and traffic of the big city confused and disoriented her, leading her to board the second wrong bus to Chiang Mai, near the border with Burma. The woman said she spent five years begging on the street in the city and was often mistaken for a member of a hill tribe because of her dark skin tone. She was arrested in 1987 on suspicion of being an illegal immigrant and was sent to a social services hostel when authorities were unable to determine her origins. However, last month, three students from her home village arrived at the hostel for training, and they were able to communicate with Beuraheng and help her find her way home.
You see what happens when you don’t shop at Wal-Mart!?
Perhaps You Should Stop Touching Their Children…
A 2006 Church of England report warned that disagreeable congregants, together with the pressures of the church’s “feudal system” bureaucracy, were turning priests harshly negative and creating an “irritable clergy syndrome.” One of the report’s authors told The Times of London in December that priests are bothered by “having to be nice all the time to everyone, even when confronted with extremes of nastiness,” such as aggressive and neurotic parishioners.
Stop shorting me on that dank communion bread and wine and we’ll see about fixing my attitude problem. All God’s children, my foot.
All Hands On Deck…
Inner Mongolian herdsman Bao Xishun, at 7-foot-9 reputed to be the world’s tallest man, was recruited by a commercial aquarium in Liaoning province, China, in December to reach into the stomachs of two dolphins to extract some plastic that they had swallowed and which was making them sick. Surgical instruments had irritated the dolphins’ stomach, but Bao’s 41-inch arm did the trick.
In communist China, you give dolphins healthcare!
Man Sued For Downloading 5 Songs off the Internet
In its running legal battle against unauthorized downloaders, five recording companies have sued an Augusta, Maine man in federal court claiming he illegally pirated and shared copyrighted music—a total of five songs. Scott Hinds, 23, is a defendant in one of a number of lawsuits by Recording Industry of America affiliates seeking to halt illegal sharing of copyrighted songs—a once-widespread practice some maintain was “fair use,” encouraged by certain computer software.
As artists attempt to regain control of their music—and reap profits from sales—recording industry spokeswoman Amanda Hunter said 18,000 individuals have been sued in similar lawsuits since September 2003, but Hinds is one of only six defendants in Maine—and perhaps the only to be sued for five measly songs.
Hinds said a lawyer does not yet represent him. “Why choose me? Every single person has done this,” he said, saying he doesn’t listen to music online presently. The lawsuit alleges Hinds illegally downloaded: “Automobile” by NWA, Priority Records, LLC; “All Over You” by Live, UMG Recordings Inc.; “Fast Car” by Tracy Chapman, Elektra Entertainment Group; “Don’t Know Why” by Norah Jones, Capitol Records Inc.; and “What Would You Say” by Dave Matthews Band, BMG Music. Hinds faces a minimum civil penalty of $750 per song. There can be criminal penalties as well.
What have I been saying about downloading Dave Matthews? It’s trouble
waiting to happen. You’re lucky they caught you, Hinds—no one
wanted to hear that melodramatic dribble for the thousandth time. At least
you had some NWA to balance it out.
Slackers Rejoice: On-The-Job Naps Lower Heart Risk
(CBS/AP) New research indicates that a little midday snooze while on the
job can reduce risks for fatal heart problems, especially among men.
In the largest study to date on the health effects of napping, researchers
tracked 23,681 healthy Greek adults for an average of about six years. Those
who napped at least three times weekly for about half an hour had a 37 percent
lower risk of dying from heart attacks or other heart problems than those
who did not nap. The researchers said naps might benefit the heart by reducing
stress. They also factored in diet, exercise, smoking and other habits that
affect the heart but still found napping seemed to help.
It’s likely that women reap similar benefits from napping, but not
enough of them died during the study to be sure, said Dr. Dimitrios Trichopoulos,
the study’s senior author and a researcher at Harvard University and
the University of Athens Medical School.
A daytime siesta has long been part of many cultures, especially those in warmer climates. Siestas aren’t ingrained in U.S. culture, and napping usually is equated with laziness in the high-charging corporate world, said Bill Anthony, co-author of “The Art of Napping at Work.” Some offices allow on-the-job naps, and many workers say it makes them more, not less, productive.
Is it deadline again already? Wake me when it’s over.
Related Links